Having been born and raised in Lancashire England, I cannont help but wonder how the Scots feel about a Lancashire lass giving this reply. We Brits are commonly referred to as SASSANACHS by the Scots and maybe it's a good thing I am not sure what that means!
Robert Burns was a frequent lover of women, having had at least 5 affairs and 13 children - Many of his poems directed to women and his love for them. How I wish we knew what all those women thought of his philandering, no wonder he was dead before he was 38 years old.
One lass declared to men:
Our strength's we'll defend with nail and tooth
Though comments on our age are always uncouth
We lassies do require a bit more space
For we smile and snarl with the same face
Our virtues and vices to not attempt to sieve
And if you're lucky we'll let you live.
Janie Krull said:
Two nights ago, I and my mate
Had an evening alone, we went out on a date.
A night to ourselves an evening to savor
"Oh by the way, can you do me a favour"?
A response to my toast is all that we need
Please don't make me get on my knees and plead
Emma can't do it, she doesn't have time
R.K. is in Scotland - the swine.
Just a small something and "oh by the way"
This verse that you write is due Saturday.
So much to do, so far behind
We can't help but end up changing our minds.
A request such as this quite often they spring
It's no wonder our moods are inclined to swing.
They do come in handy every once in a while
They say nice things and they make us smile.
When we can't reach things way up on high
All we do is call and it's easy as pie.
Crawling things come out and make our hearts go a fitter
These gents know how to get rid of a critter
They put up with our moods, our diets and hair-dos
They know how we get when we buy new shoes
They fix what's broken, they take care of our cars
They move heavy objects and program VCR's
When it's important to them, they are up with the sun
And still I wonder will my sewing room ever be done?
Through bad hair days and failed weight lost attempts
These men before us are awfully nice gents.
Tam O Shanter the poem by Robert Burns issued a response titled "KATE O'SHANTER'S TALE"
And where do you suppose was Kate
When market days were wearin late
While Tam frequented wretched dives
and fooled aroond wi landlord's wives?
And rode poor Meg through mud and ditches
and had an eye for handsome witches
Played peepin Tam at Alloway
And yelled and gave himself away
And fled from there amid the din
And Maggie hardly saved his skin
Kate slaved away the lifelong day
They had so many bills to pay
The twins just had to have new shoes
And Tam he spent so much on booze
She bathed and clothed and fed the twins
She baked the bread, she knits and spins
She does the wash, she mends the clothes
And what all else God only knows!
She keeps the house all neat and trim
And makes the lunch for ploughboy Jim
A neighbour lad they hire by day
Who does Tam's work while Tam's away
She herds the sheep and cattle too
Feeds hens, milks cows and when she's through
makes cheese and butter and gathers eggs
And puts the homebrew in the kegs
For Tam to sell on market day
And drink the proceeds half away
At harvest time from early morn
Her sickle reaps the oats and corn
And many a bonny summer day
She and ploughboy Jim - make hay
When Tam got home that night at 4
And Maggie found the stable door
Tam stumbled senseless to the floor
To sleep it off 8 hours or more
He tossed and turned through hail and rain
And through the nightmare ride again
Aboot the middle of the day
The livestock had a lot to say
The chickens, donkeys, geese, hens and cows
Said we want food we want it NOW
Tam stirred then from his lowly bed
and saw Meg's stump above his head
An awfu thought ran through his brain
Oh God - that wisna hail and rain!
Tam struggled slowly tae his feet
He wisna clean he wisna neat
He scraped aff what he could but when
He made his way from but to ben
Tam stood dumbfounded - what the hell
For Kate was gone - the twins as well
But Kate had left a note for him
"I've sailed to Montreal wi Jim"
And we expect to settle soon
Out on a farm near Saskatoon!
Forgive me Tam and don't be sore
A couldna tak it any more
I had tae find a better way
Before I'd slaved my youth away
I had tae try and save myself
(You'll find the oatmeal on the shelf)
Don't fash yourself aboot the twins
I might as well confess - they're Jims!!
Remember this: behind most successful men there is a woman, take away the lassies and what's left?
Robert Burns was a frequent lover of women, having had at least 5 affairs and 13 children - Many of his poems directed to women and his love for them. How I wish we knew what all those women thought of his philandering, no wonder he was dead before he was 38 years old.
One lass declared to men:
Our strength's we'll defend with nail and tooth
Though comments on our age are always uncouth
We lassies do require a bit more space
For we smile and snarl with the same face
Our virtues and vices to not attempt to sieve
And if you're lucky we'll let you live.
Janie Krull said:
Two nights ago, I and my mate
Had an evening alone, we went out on a date.
A night to ourselves an evening to savor
"Oh by the way, can you do me a favour"?
A response to my toast is all that we need
Please don't make me get on my knees and plead
Emma can't do it, she doesn't have time
R.K. is in Scotland - the swine.
Just a small something and "oh by the way"
This verse that you write is due Saturday.
So much to do, so far behind
We can't help but end up changing our minds.
A request such as this quite often they spring
It's no wonder our moods are inclined to swing.
They do come in handy every once in a while
They say nice things and they make us smile.
When we can't reach things way up on high
All we do is call and it's easy as pie.
Crawling things come out and make our hearts go a fitter
These gents know how to get rid of a critter
They put up with our moods, our diets and hair-dos
They know how we get when we buy new shoes
They fix what's broken, they take care of our cars
They move heavy objects and program VCR's
When it's important to them, they are up with the sun
And still I wonder will my sewing room ever be done?
Through bad hair days and failed weight lost attempts
These men before us are awfully nice gents.
Tam O Shanter the poem by Robert Burns issued a response titled "KATE O'SHANTER'S TALE"
And where do you suppose was Kate
When market days were wearin late
While Tam frequented wretched dives
and fooled aroond wi landlord's wives?
And rode poor Meg through mud and ditches
and had an eye for handsome witches
Played peepin Tam at Alloway
And yelled and gave himself away
And fled from there amid the din
And Maggie hardly saved his skin
Kate slaved away the lifelong day
They had so many bills to pay
The twins just had to have new shoes
And Tam he spent so much on booze
She bathed and clothed and fed the twins
She baked the bread, she knits and spins
She does the wash, she mends the clothes
And what all else God only knows!
She keeps the house all neat and trim
And makes the lunch for ploughboy Jim
A neighbour lad they hire by day
Who does Tam's work while Tam's away
She herds the sheep and cattle too
Feeds hens, milks cows and when she's through
makes cheese and butter and gathers eggs
And puts the homebrew in the kegs
For Tam to sell on market day
And drink the proceeds half away
At harvest time from early morn
Her sickle reaps the oats and corn
And many a bonny summer day
She and ploughboy Jim - make hay
When Tam got home that night at 4
And Maggie found the stable door
Tam stumbled senseless to the floor
To sleep it off 8 hours or more
He tossed and turned through hail and rain
And through the nightmare ride again
Aboot the middle of the day
The livestock had a lot to say
The chickens, donkeys, geese, hens and cows
Said we want food we want it NOW
Tam stirred then from his lowly bed
and saw Meg's stump above his head
An awfu thought ran through his brain
Oh God - that wisna hail and rain!
Tam struggled slowly tae his feet
He wisna clean he wisna neat
He scraped aff what he could but when
He made his way from but to ben
Tam stood dumbfounded - what the hell
For Kate was gone - the twins as well
But Kate had left a note for him
"I've sailed to Montreal wi Jim"
And we expect to settle soon
Out on a farm near Saskatoon!
Forgive me Tam and don't be sore
A couldna tak it any more
I had tae find a better way
Before I'd slaved my youth away
I had tae try and save myself
(You'll find the oatmeal on the shelf)
Don't fash yourself aboot the twins
I might as well confess - they're Jims!!
Remember this: behind most successful men there is a woman, take away the lassies and what's left?
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